Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A Restless and Excitable Child

For parents, care giver and anyone who works with young people

  • Kate talks about her 7 year old

About this factsheet
This is one in a series of factsheets for parents, teachers and young people entitled Mental Health and Growing Up. The aims of these factsheets are to provide practical, up-to-date information about mental health problems (emotional, behavioural and psychiatric disorders) that can affect children and young people. This factsheet looks at the reasons behind why some children are more restless and excitable than others, gives advice about how to deal with an overactive child, and suggests where to go to get extra help if you feel you are unable to cope on your own.
Young children are often restless and excitable. Their noisy liveliness is usually just a part of being young. Although it may be tiring, it is usually nothing to worry about.

Sometimes youngsters may be so active and noisy that it makes life difficult for their parents and other children. A child like this may be demanding and excitable, and chatter away nineteen to the dozen. They may be noisy, may not do as they are told, and will probably find it difficult to sit still. Adults may say that he's ‘hyperactive’, but the trouble with this word is that professionals use it to describe extreme, and sometimes dangerous behaviour, such as running out into a busy road.
What makes children overactive?
There are many things that can make a child overactive. The following should give you some guidance as to the reasons for your child's behaviour. Finding the reasons may help you to come up with some solutions to deal with them.

  • Being a parent
If parents are unhappy, depressed or worried, they tend to pay less attention to their children. They may find they can't spend the time they need to help them play constructively, or they may find that when they do play with them, they spend a lot of time telling them to be quiet. Children learn from this that they have to be naughty or noisy to get any attention from their mum or dad.

  • No clear rules
It is important to have simple rules about what is allowed and what is not. If two parents are involved, they both need to agree about the rules, and be consistent and fair when they say ‘no’. This will help the child to know what is expected and to learn self-control (see our Factsheets on good parenting and on behavioural and conduct problems).

  • Child’s temperament
We are all born with different temperaments. Some children are livelier, noisier and more outgoing than others. They may prefer going out and being with other people than quietly reading a book or playing with toys by themselves. Quite often, children who are active like this are also excitable and may go over the top while playing. Although this can be a nuisance, it is nothing to worry about, but you may need some help in finding ways to help your child calm down.

  • Learning and other problems
Some children find it hard to learn things that other children find easy. They may need special help at school. They may seem quite young for their age and find it hard to concentrate on work or control their behaviour as well as other children.

Some children may be affected by attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). If this is the case, seek help.

  • Hearing problems
Glue ear (ear infections) is a common example of a hearing problem. If a child has glue ear, they will find it hard to hear what other people say, will tend to shout and may want the television turned up very loudly.

  • Food
Some children do seem to react to certain foods by becoming restless and irritable. This is not as common as some people think, but occasionally it can be a real problem.
How can I get my child to calm down?
Try to make sure you spend time with your child on their own, so that they know you are interested in them. This will give you the chance to plan and praise.
  • Plan
Spend time with your children doing something they enjoy. Get into a routine and plan what they are going to be doing for the day or the weekend. It is helpful to arrange to have friends to come and play, (encouraging their social development) and gives you a break when they are invited back! It is also helpful to engage them in regular activities such as football or trampoline sessions, cubs, brownies etc. because this gives you a chance to meet other parents who can provide an informal support network. You can also make clear times when you expect them to play quietly on their own.
  • Praise
Take every opportunity to praise your child. Be as clear as possible. It is vital that they understand exactly what they have done to please you. For example, “you've been playing so quietly on your own … what a good boy you are” or “what a good footballer you are”.
Where can I get help?
Lively, excitable behaviour is a common problem for parents. Your health visitor will be used to giving advice about this. If there seems to be a problem with your child's hearing, or if there seems to be a reaction to foods, your general practitioner should be able to help and refer to a specialist if required. If they think that there might be a learning difficulty or a hyperactivity disorder, they will refer you to a clinical psychologist, paediatrician or Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) (see our factsheet on CAMHS).

YOG, particularly ASANAS can consume more of RESTLESS ENERGY in a child, sports and exercise can be good aid to channelize this energy. Using this energy in creative fields like art and craft, music, creative writing can slow down and stabilize the pace and psyche of the restless child. Avoiding fatty and junk food is best. Chewing 2 leaves of Ocimum Sanctum (Holy Basil leaves) twice a day can have an Ayurvedic effect making the child adaptive to stress. (Klub Psychology)

Source: The Leaflet Department, The Royal College of Psychiatrists
Adjunct information by: Klub Psychology

Our motto: One step ahead; everyday.

Monday, October 15, 2012

A festive season starts today in Nepal


May the blessings and partyings be the everyday life from now onward!

Our motto: One step ahead; everyday.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Two ear to listen and one mouth to talk!

Neuroscience explains why your voice is more persuasive than a pen or keyboard. So When It's Important: Don't Write, Talk!!

If you have something important to say to someone, you already know that you should show up in person or pick up the phone. Don't send an email or text. But do you know the science behind why? It's not that your words might get misinterpreted. Sure, that's possible, but that's not the real reason why speaking to someone is more persuasive than writing to them. And it's not that emails are seen as less formal. Although that's true too, it's not the reason why you should speak to someone.

It's all about the brain -- When you listen to someone talking your brain starts working in sync with the speaker. Here's what researcher Greg Stephens discovered: He put some participants in his research study in an fMRI machine and recorded them speaking. He also recorded their brain activity. Then he had other participants listen to the recordings while they were also in an fMRI machine, and he recorded their brains too.

Brain syncing -- What he found is that as someone is listening to someone else talk, the brain patterns of the two people mirror each other. There is a slight delay, which corresponds to the time it takes for the communication to occur. He compared this with having people listen to someone talk in a language they did not understand. In that case the brains did not sync up.  

Syncing + anticipation = understanding -- In Stephen’s study, the more the brains were synced up the more the listener understood the ideas and message from the speaker. And by watching what parts of the brain were lighting up, Stephens could see that the parts of the brain that have to do with prediction and anticipation were active. The more active they were, the more successful was the communication.
Social parts light up too -- Stephens noted that the parts of the brain that have to do with social interaction were also synced, including areas known to be involved in processing social information crucial for successful communication, including the capacity to discern the beliefs, desires, and goals of others.

There is always the release of comfort hormone Endorphin when we interact in a live manner rather than using electronic gadget like cell phone. The release of this social hormone let you feel backed up, secure, lively and accelerate communication to a further level and also relieves some physical signs. This particular idea has a great therapeutic value in treating Autism Spectrum Disorder. (Klub Psychology)

So the next time you have something important to say, say it, don't write it. Hearing someone speak is more powerful and persuasive than reading.

Uh oh, I guess that means I should have recorded this blog post! 
What do you think? Have you experienced a difference in written vs. spoken communication?
Revised by: Klub Psychology

Our motto: One step ahead; everyday.

Friday, October 12, 2012



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!= lat]sf !% lbgdf jf s]lx ;do cl3 b]lv 36]sf k|d'v # 36gfx? pNn]v ug'{xf];\ h;n] tkfO{sf] lbgx'Fsf] hLGbuLnfO{ Psbd} tgfjdo agfP .
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     o; cl3 klxn] o:tf sfo{qmddf efu lng' ePsf] lyof] <                                                                                    5÷5}g
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Our motto: One step ahead everyday.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


Lets celebrate this month of October as a Mental Health month against Mental Health stigma.

A rally was organized in the Capital Wednesday on the occasion of the World Mental Health Day.

The rally started from Bhadrakali and reached Basantapur after going through various places including Martyr’s Gate and New Road.

This year’s World Mental Health Day is being celebrated under the slogan “Depression a World-wide Challenge” to create public awareness about ‘Depression’ and to wipe out misconceptions about the disease.

According to RSS, on the occasion, various organizations associated to mental health said that the state should move ahead by making strategic concepts based on community for the treatment of integrated mental health service.

They expressed worries over non-protection of rights including discriminatory behavior to patients suffering from mental diseases, hiding mental health problems in the society as far as possible and not getting treatment and care.

Director at the Mental Hospital, Lagankhel, Dr. Surendra Sherchan, urged the government to bring a separate law related to mental health to provide rightful health services to patients suffering from mental problems.

Around 350 million people are victims of mental problems in the world and around one million persons commit suicide every year due to the reason, it is learnt.

Around 10- 20 per cent population has been suffering from one or the othertype of mental problems in Nepal. 

Source: nepalnews.com
Our motto: One step ahead, everyday.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Freely Happy

Freely Happy

Bottom of Form
I wrote about happiness because I found myself debating every thought on the matter I ever encountered. The stakes of my intra-personal debates were high because we humans suffer above and beyond all other animals. All beings want to survive, utilizing various strategies. Death, disease, decay causes all species to suffer, but only human beings add misery whenever we can.
We hang onto thoughts and feelings, making them a painful, but safe harbor to which we return compulsively, regardless of changing conditions. The rain’s gone, the sun’s come out, but we keep seeing clouds. Plagued with worries and regrets, hopes and expectations, our minds are muddled. We are intelligent, but rarely clear. Riddled with anxiety, we hasten from moment to moment without noticing much at all. Life feels short as the good flies by unnoticed. The only times we look up and pause is when we see an advantage or something bad happening.
Bottom of Form
We are in this predicament even though we actually have more potential to reduce suffering than any other creature. Unlike others, we can decide not to compete and instead widen the narrow circle of kinship, pouring compassion over strangers, enemies, even other species. Instead of aiming at power, we can aim at love and “follow our bliss” (as Joseph Campbell suggested). We can climb the mountain top of awareness and direct our lives from that vantage point, instead of from desire.
I have always found that survival at the expense of others is sad and a disgrace to our creative, human potential. Each and every single one of us deserves to fulfill this potential with which we are all born. Happiness is the antidote to unnecessary suffering that we inflict by either trying to be better or preventing others from being better. Happiness is the experience of our aliveness, not just the experience of staying alive.
Because of all that and more, happiness is not and ought not to be treated like a superficial state of mind or light matter. Yet, what do we usually hear in the media? Promises. Fantasy. Single-pointed approaches, suggesting, “Just do this,” “Just think that,” or, “Just be happy.” I passionately believe that to be happy, we must work on a variety of skills, train our mind in a variety of ways, and look at life within and around us from a variety of vantage points. No single approach or aspect will do. Life is too grand to have but one good response to it. What we need is a grand, multifaceted response to the whole of life. What we need is honest happiness.
Taking into account science, direct experience, many schools of thoughts, modern and ancient, western and eastern, I think that honest happiness must entail,
• Occasional bad feelings (“Smiles come best from those who weep”--Rumi)
• Occasional bad thoughts (Don’t trust the alligator)
• Bad events (Death and taxes really do happen; Life happens…)
• The human condition of imperfection (I am, therefore I err)
• De-identification with the perfect “other” (“Be a light onto yourself”--Buddha).
Allowing the occasional “negative” to play a part in happiness helps create the necessary space for a grand response to life. Also, the very aspects of life we shun, come back to haunt us eventually. Unable to live up to our ideal self, we end up with self-punishing and self-loathing. In the long run, inflexible positive rules cause inflexible negative responses. Honest happiness cannot come about when we try to be joyous always; look at the bright side compulsively; deny pain; hope to become super-human; or feel compelled to emulate some super-human “other,” be it an idealized person or superior set of thoughts. All this is designed to avoid real life.
Seeing the dark side in us and even experiencing it occasionally is not the problem. However, seeing only the dark side and experiencing it without good reason is the problem. We must be able to see whatever is. Any rigid idea about our inner or outer reality makes us attach to negative experiences. It is difficult to open our eyes to our ever-changing reality with all its greatness, beauty, strength, and opportunities when our mind has formed fixed, particular opinions about reality. Fixations keep our eyes closed. Therefore, honest happiness rests upon mindfulness that is awareness, which is what Buddhists have known for ages.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is to slow down our mind, observe, and focus. This will sharpen our sense of existence which we need to see opportunity in difficulty, the “good” in the “bad,” the little flower on which we almost stepped, the clear sky beyond the clouds. As we so begin to live with awareness of the whole of life, fixations dissolve and give way to the fluency of life. It is this fluency of life to which we can learn to respond in flexible ways. Many skills must be learned, applied, and practiced. In my opinion, honest happiness is the result of a skillful, flexible consciousness that corresponds to the grand flow of life.
While inviting honest happiness into our lives takes devotion and time, we can immediately stop ourselves from dreaming about the one-size fits-all approach to happiness, the simple solution, or the one thing missing. Instead we can begin to pay attention to the whole of our life with the utmost kindness. We can whisper “yes” to life the way it is, until, one day, we can shout out with confidence that having a sharp sense of life is better than fantasy and better than the best of all dreams.
By: Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D.
The "How" of Honest Happiness

Our motto: One step ahead; everyday.