CANCER AND COUNSELLING

Counselling doesn’t help you cure the symptoms of any fatal illness as cancers but will help you cope during diagnosis, treatment and healing.

How counselling can help?

Counselling can help you sort out many different types of problems that you may face when you have cancer.

Counselling can help with:
• coping with your reactions to cancer
• family and relationship issues
• exploring personal issues
• dealing with practical issues

Reactions and stress
There are many reactions to cancer you might have including:
• fear or anger
• strong reactions to changes to your body
• anxiety about treatment
You may feel very angry, or find it difficult to cope with a feeling of loss of control. You might also feel very stressed about having to cope with side effects of treatment, such as fatigue, pain or sickness.

Cancer can stir up many deeply personal issues such as consideration of your:
• spirituality
• sexuality
• relationships

Your family relationships
Cancer can also affect your family relationships.  You might find it affects how to talk to your children or your intimacy with your partner
It might also lead to role changes within the family, if you are no longer able to fulfil the role you used to, even temporarily.

Cancer can cause financial strain
You might need to have difficult conversations about:
• financial support
• mortgages
• pensions
• making a will

There may be practical issue such as transport problems or difficulty talking to your doctors. All these can cause family tensions or extra stress for you.

How talking helps?

You may want to deal with things in ways that your friends or family don't agree with.

So it might help to talk through any of these issues and feelings with someone outside your friends and family.Your friends and family may be too close to the issues to see them clearly and objectively.

A counsellor can help you to find different ways of coping that hadn't occurred to you before. And because counselling is confidential, you can be honest about what is bothering you.

How counselling helps?
There is no evidence to suggest that having counselling will help treat or cure your cancer. Nor is there any convincing evidence that it will help prolong your life.

But there is a lot of evidence that counselling can help you to cope better with the many difficulties you face, during and after your cancer diagnosis and treatment. It can help reduce the stress you face and improve your quality of life.

Your doctors and nurses

Although some doctors and nurses may provide their patients with emotional and psychological support, many don’t feel comfortable doing this.

Some health care staff may not feel able to give support or they may not have the time.

Their main focus is on treating and curing your cancer. Of course, if you have cancer, this is very important. But many people are also worried about how they can cope with their illness and how it will disrupt their everyday life.

Because of this, some cancer units now have a counsellor or psychotherapist as part of their team.

How counselling helps with treatment?

We know from research that counselling can help some people overcome the depression and anxiety that cancer can cause.

There’s also evidence that certain methods of counselling can help people deal with phobias about having cancer treatments. The phobias include:

• fear of having injections
• being confined to a small space during an MRI scan

Types of counselling

There are many different types of counselling. Find the one that you feel is best for you.

How to choose?

The type of counselling you choose will depend on:

• what you feel most comfortable with
• how serious the issues are that you want to discuss
• how long you have been having the problems
• the type of issues you have, such as general worries about not coping, relationship problems, phobias.

The important thing to remember is to tell your counsellor if you feel uncomfortable. For example, if they ask you questions that you don’t want to answer.

It’s okay to try different counsellors
If you don’t feel that you’re getting on very well with your counsellor, you can always try someone else.

Personality clashes do happen. So don’t feel bad. It doesn’t mean that counselling won’t help you or that the counsellor is bad at their job.

A good counsellor will understand that you may find it more helpful to see someone else.

Supportive one to one counselling
One to one supportive counselling means that you can talk about your problems and worries in confidence.

You talk to a counsellor who is trained to listen and help you explore your thoughts and feelings. You may have practical issues and want some help to sort them out.

The counsellor may not use a particular method here. They won't tell you what to do but they will listen to you carefully and help you find the best solutions for you. For counselling to work well it is important that you have a trusting and safe relationship with your counsellor.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

You may hear the terms cognitive therapy or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT aims to help you change how you respond to situations or emotions.

Cognitive describes the mental process that people use to remember, reason, understand, problem solve, and judge things.

Behaviour describes your actions or reactions to something.

This type of therapy helps you to understand how your thought patterns may be making you feel depressed or scared. It also teaches you how to calm your body and mind. This helps you to control your feelings more, think more clearly, and generally feel better about things.

CBT is often used to help people overcome:

• difficulties in keeping emotions such as anger, sadness, fear and guilt under control
• feeling very stressed
• addictions
• depression
• panic attacks and phobias
• anxiety
• insomnia and other sleep problems
• low self esteem

Group counselling

There is also group counselling, sometimes called group therapy. This means joining in a group where everyone discusses their problems together.

Usually, everyone in the group is facing similar problems, but not always.
The counsellor will facilitate the group and encourage people to express their feelings within it. Some people find it very helpful to learn that they are not alone with their worries.

This method doesn’t suit everyone, especially if you have some very personal and painful issues you want to discuss.

Family counselling

Because cancer often affects the whole family, it can sometimes help if you all see a counsellor together. Family members may be too scared to express to you how they really feel about your illness.

You may not feel well enough or have the time to sit and talk honestly with your partner and children. Talking to children about cancer can be very difficult and upsetting.

Seeing a counsellor together allows you all a set time to listen to each other’s worries. It can really help give everyone in the family a better understanding of what is happening.

It can also bring you much closer together and encourage you to give each other more support.

Children and family counselling

Children may be keeping a lot of their feelings to themselves for fear of upsetting you. They’re likely to be trying to deal with your illness as well as keeping up with schoolwork, looking after younger siblings and wanting to feel supported and accepted by friends.